Oh god, what have I done Oh god, what have I done Oh god, what have I done! Oh god! How could I let this happen again? Am I such a fool that I totally Incapable of learning the errors of my Ignorant ways Shrug it off Walk away Put it behind you Tomorrows a New day Have some Fucking self respect for once Have some Fucking self respect Tonight is the night Of clarity Where I can see everything For what it is, was! Or maybe could be Where I'm thinking of all the Mistakes I've made and how badly I wish I could change them But they'll Always be the same This is evident This detrimental devastating down fall Fell asleep atop a mountain of regret Then woke up Buried under the fear of what comes next Overcomed by regret, regret, regret Have some self-respect

Impulse by In Exile This time I finally see how I only have my self to blame Too little too late. With a barrel in my face, I most except that this is my fate. Because at this point things have gone well beyond just crossing the line. So much time has been given to reflect, but I toke no part in it. I let impulse overcome my intuition Oh how we are animalistic Oh how I am , I am so selfish It isn't I who suffers the greatest defeat Fuck, as far as I can see It's the others that saw that potential in me. What a disease, its left me sick and dying Destroyed by this addiction that I could never leave. Pull the Fucking trigger bury me.

Indifference: Why not? If it's what you feel, why contemplate? Just let it go! But you over think, you're over thinking that you over think every little thing. Too much time, if not enough, could ever be spent on such a waste of a life like you couldn't possibly believe how awful things, how awful things are always looking, up and down, up and down, up and down. Take a chance by staying inside, and make the most of it by just closing your eyes. All this unified indifference is bound to be your demise. All this unified indifference is bound to be your demise. I'm so sure. I am, I am so certainly unsure. I am so unsure. Certainly unsure. Certainly unsure. I try my best isn't even close to success is in my hands, my hands can't hold onto, everything is what it isn't, and what it should be is something more or less. I'm so sure.

Revelation: And there I saw the light open, and there before me was a white horse. The rider on the horse was named faithful and true, and his eyes were like burning fire. He had a name which no one but himself knew, he wore a robe dipped in blood, and from his mouth came a sharp sword that he used to defeat all that was evil. On his flesh was inscribed "king of kings, and lord of lords." Then the light broke, and in the darkness of the present there manifested a revelation. That now is the time to embrace what you have grown to be so cognizant of, the Felicific calculus of how to do right when overwhelmingly tempted to do wrong, and god willing, eventually the dissonance will dissolve. This is not, this is not a rehabilitation, this is a rebirth. A metempsychosis recycling within the same entity, set to repeat, infinitely and indefinitely, over, and over again. Eventually it will strengthen itself to an unfathomable infamy. It will strengthen itself to an unfathomable infamy. And back into the light... I started it by saying, "I swear this is the last time, I swear that I am through. Write these words down, for they are trustworthy and true." And he replied by saying, "I am the alpha, I am the omega, I am the one who is, was, and will become. To all those who suffer, to all those who are thirsty, I will let them drink from the spring of life. This the victorious shall receive, but the cowards, the cowards who tell lies [-who lie just like me-], they will receive a place in the lake of burning, [-and they call this the second death-] this is the second death." Logical conclusions need not apply, insanity in its face, it's useless for you to deny.

No excuses by In Exile and here I am again, you'd think by now i'd have learned my lesson, but apparently too much is never enough when you want it. so go get it, say "fuck it!", say fuck you to the people that love you, and be consumed in the moment when you decide that nothing could ever mean more than this. OH SUCH BULLSHIT! when will it ever be enough? when you're found face down in a ditch somewhere? your throat split wide open, and no evidence as to how, why, when, or where. but the past, the life you were living, it serves as a map leading everyone to the point where your actions foreshadowed, that in time you were bound to get just what you deserved you're going to get just what you deserve! and how, how you deserve it so! you're going to get just what you deserve! no excuses! no excusing this! no excuses! oh but I tried so hard, you know that I fought for so long. the temptation was just to much for me. I'm so sorry. I did wrong... everyday is the same (I pray for change but never try anything). the patterns never break, they follow routine and remain the same (day, after day, after day, after day...) time to stand up, shake the ash off. take a deep breath, shake the past off. guilt is just a waste of time, so blame me, I don't care. I can face myself at night 'cause I try to do what's right. and in the end, the blind man grins and goes on dancing.

Sense of self: Now the storm has passed through and flooded my mind empty, all clear and freshly cleansed but unfortunately it's no quite what I assumed it would be. Where I had imagined there'd be bliss I've now found a raw senselessness. No sense of self other than the evil I've been, no escaping the reality of how I've been living, however there is solitude in knowing I never have to live that way again. I'm putting this all behind me, starting from scratch to rebuild to entirety, empiricism has proven itself to be evidence enough, that when faced with the imminent just grin and shrug in the face of it, all obstacles can be overcome, enmity can coexist, fear not these trivial things. rage on. I will rage on, I will build this complete, I'll do this one all for me. I'll do this one all for me, despite all of my apathy, I cannot be deterred, I will not accept defeat. It's comical in all of it's irony, how something so evil could be so enlightening. For better or for worse, I don't regret a fucking thing, I don't regret a thing. Within every ounce of suffering therein lies opportunity, opportunity. And there's never been a time more opportune than now. And for once, just take a second to breathe. Take a moment to rest and let your mind at ease. It's all over now, you no longer need to worry about this. It's all over my friend. Transition, transitioning, far too deep for me to clearly see and these days, I'm not sure if clarity is really worth knowing. Too many treacheries, too fast. Just know that these too shall come to pass. Egos Ping-Pong extremisms, dilettantes apostatize in thralls. Mores of mordancy that shred, sacrifice to fell dissensions, bled by your life-long assassins, still we live to live again and then and then, for those who have lost and will lose again, it isn't fate, it's just some cheon cashing in, for those who have the will to hang, man up and let's finish the game. the struggle will rage on, deranged unseen, the irony entrained, baptized by dichotomy, redemption in the constancy, the constant sea of changes, just know that everything comes, and everything goes, for what it's worth this is the only fate that life controls. (the lyrics for that ending part when we play it live): too many treacheries, too fast, just know that these too shall come to pass. dilettantes apostatize in thralls, as ego's Ping-Pong extremisms, sacrifice to fell dissensions, bled by your life-long assasins, but still we live to live again and then and then, for those who have lose and will lose again, just know that everything comes and everything goes. for what it's worth, this is all the fate that life controls.